The Swimsuit Update:

Okay, ladies. After the recent post on clothing, I thought you might want to know what happened when I went swimsuit shopping.

First, I took along the husband and two kids, to ensure maximum frustration. (JK) We dropped the kids at Target, and Adam sat in the mall walking-track (you know what I mean) and chatted with two old geezers. He had a swell time.

I entered J.C. Penney. I knew I was in trouble when two sales clerks responded to my inquiry about swimsuits, "Well, if we have anything left, they're back there," and they waved a vague hand in the direction of the store back. Sure enough, they had 40 suits in size 12, mostly bikinis. I tried on a few, just for laughs. And I do mean that literally. You larger ladies know how it is: you squeeze into the stretchy-hotpink-teeny-weeny-cup and guffaw at yourself. Occasionally I just stand and stare at the mirror to fix the image in my mind. I remember that it's the swimsuit that is ridiculous, and not my body!

I left there, counting it as my daily exercise, and strolled down to TJ Maxx. I waved at Adam and the Geezers as I breezed into the store. I expected TJ Maxx to have exactly one swimsuit in my size, and it would be a garish floral display. But I was wrong! I tried on quite a few and finally had to limit myself to only two suits. I found two!! One was called a "miraclesuit," which I thought an apt name. The swimsuit fairies must have been sprinkling their fairy dust on me!!

The first suit I bought cost me $25. Yet another miracle -- its regular price is $99. You have to picture a black/white design instead of the floral pattern on the bust:

This suit is made by Longitude. It gives great support in the tummy, great coverage on the rear, and excellent support in the bust. The straps are nice and wide. Still it's lovely! It's elegant, and the waist is high, which seems to "lift" the suit. I really love it. Here's a link to another view of the suit.

And now for suit #2:

This is a photo of my suit in the right color and style. It's made by Miraclesuit. It also gives good bust support for a v-neck, and I like the small sarong on the front. I do prefer coverage on the upper thighs, and in the past decade have generally bought suits with skirts or shorts, instead of a traditional one-piece that (let's be honest) is cut like a pair of underwear. Sigh. I also loathe shaving my entire leg, and since I only shave way up in the nether regions for wearing a bathing suit ... why not buy a suit with coverage up there, and then I'll never have to shave there at all? Right?

I still prefer that, but being in a water aerobics class this summer has made me admit that a snug, simple one-piece is useful when you're thrashing around in the water with 15 other aging women. Nobody cares if you've shaved. But if you have a skirt or (heaven forbid) a massive pair of swim shorts with a liner floating around you, it's challenging to work out. I have little black lycra skirts I can wear over the one-pieces, if need be. So it's all good.

Oh, suit #2 cost me $35. Regular price: $120. Thank you, TJ Maxx!! As a thrift store shopper, I dislike paying even that much, but some items cannot be found in thrift stores in a timely manner. A bathing-suit-that-works-with-THIS-body is one of them. And now I have suits for about the next six years, so I consider that a good investment, especially since I live on the coast.

That's it, ladies! I hope you're encouraged! I hope you didn't expect to see photos of ME in a suit, because that ain't happening. But I'm about a size 18 or 20, with an hour-glass figure, if that tells you anything, and these suits are made for my body type, not for a skinny 14 year old. The suits are out there, even in mid-July. Go shop!