Shhh ... Dreaming

 This is what Julia did with the autumn cut-out leaves over her bed. She loves twinkle lights.  I think maybe the new bed is growing on her.

Isn't that darling? She says it needs more leaves.

The Perils of Furniture

When I returned from my parents' mountain house, I brought back some furniture of ours that's been residing there for over a year. Adam would call them dilapidated pieces of junk. Five items: a large halltree, a Singer sewing machine in its lovely cabinet, a small desk handed down in Adam's family and originally sold in his great-something-daddy's Nebraska store, a rickety vanity given to me by my mother years ago and held together by hefty glue, and a small wooden child's settee. No, I did not get photos of them.
And when Adam took the little Nebraska desk out of the van, it did this. Boohoo!

The desk whose demise I refuse to concede

I love that little desk, and it will be reassembled soon. I didn't expect it to fall apart! I thought for sure the vanity would fall apart. And ... the halltree also suffered some disassembling during the drive. We need a furniture-gluing day.
And our furniture woes weren't over, oh no. Julia's full-size bed has been an issue for quite some time. It was Adam's bed when he was a boy. [Side story: for many years he removed his gum from his mouth at night, well-chewed, and stuck it to the back of the headboard. Years later, Anna inherited the bed, which she adored, especially its historical gum. I loathed the ancestral spit. I spent an afternoon a decade ago chipping off the gum. In retaliation she applied new gum thereafter. Sigh! When Julia inherited the bed from Anna, of course she found her sister's old gum disgusting.] Worse than the gum, however, was the fact that the bed was held together by zip ties, twine, yarn, and whatever other implement was close-at-hand when the bed was being assembled and reassembled. Those of you with teenaged daughters know how often their bedroom furniture is arranged and rearranged. Sigh #2.

I determined to rid us of the bed. Meanwhile, Adam made a junkie-looking twin bed, serviceable for Philip for the summer. Never in my wildest dreams would I guess that Julia would covet Philip's ugly bed. [For some reason, Julia has an aversion to furniture in her room. She wants the least furniture possible. What's with that? I'm assuming this is a dementia that will pass soon.]

Julia, painting Philip's ugly bed in April

 We have a 2-bedroom house. This means sometimes Julia's room must serve as a guest room. How could I ever ask a guest to sleep on that thing? And if a couple is visiting, I must have a double bed. Add to this quandary the fact that Julia-the-Hater-of-Furniture also eschewed having a dresser in her room. We removed this large boy-dresser to the garage months ago:

Alright, so I refused to tidy before I took this photo.

Without a dresser, she had nowhere to put her clothes except a tiny closet rail, which was fine by her because she was well-used to storing all her clothing on the floor. I've said it before: I'm not sugar-coating our lives on this blog.
As the end of summer approached, I realized I'd had it with Julia dictating how my house would look. Yes, I know it's her room ... but only temporarily. I'm ready for furniture that I like, and that will serve us well for guests for the next twenty years! So I told her -- I'm getting a new full-sized bed. I'm getting a smaller dresser. They will be in your room. Live with it.
Without further ado, here's the new-to-us dresser:

It's not fancy. It's not even real wood. But it looks nice and will serve her well. And as per her wishes, it takes up less room than the other one did.
We also found a bed, and I'm mighty proud of myself. I found both these pieces at the Habitat for Humanity ReStore in New Bern. Great prices and good furniture.

It's a lovely four-poster. The finials and post extensions come off, if needed. Very pretty solid wood. In fact, I like it better than my bed. Hmm. I believe we'll be enjoying this bed for years to come.
Julia and I are both entering our autumnal stage in which we long for pine cones, bright leaves, brisk breezes, and cider candles. She made these leaves to hang on her wall. She may keep clothes on the floor, but she really is all about decorating!

 She had a clunky, ugly computer desk in her room too. Thankfully, Philip disassembled it and will take it with him to Chattanooga soon. He's renting a house with three buddies, our first child to live on his/her own! He has no furniture, so the desk is a help to him. And I brought the full-length mirror you see below from my mom's house too. That'll go in Julia's room. Teen girls need to peruse themselves.

After all the chaos in Julia's room, most of which she did not approve, last night a friend brought two bags of beautiful hand-me-down clothes to Julia, from her fashionable daughter. So lovely and perfectly timed! Julia's grumpiness evaporated as she tried on outfit after outfit that transformed her from a 13 year old to a 16 year old instantly. So all is well and happy in our furniture-ridden home.

Julia's Ninth Grade Curriculum

Homeschool will start for us on August 26. I have teacher friends who are already back in the classroom. Oh, August! You are my least favorite month, but still I would not sacrifice you thus! We still have kids visiting, an anniversary trip to make, family coming to see us, and college kids to send off. I do not favor these early school starts.

Anywho. Julia will be studying the ancient period this year, from 5000 BC to about 400 AD. This covers (generally) ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome, with the history and literature of this time. In science she'll study biology. She'll do alternating chapters of vocabulary and grammar. For math we're planning to do Algebra I with Khan Academy online, but that's open to revision if it doesn't go well. I've heard good things about Math-U-See. Here are the books I have so far:

a new planning book

my homeschooling "bible," well-loved and -marked

 This next book is very exciting! Susan Bauer recommends it for the rhetoric stage (high school). A massive tome, it tracks history from 5000 BC to the present, showing what happens each year in a range of categories. It ties things together, which is what classical education is all about.

 Here's a sample page. Across the top line are categories: history/politics, literature/theater, religion/philosophy/learning, visual arts, music, science/technology/growth, daily life. The first set of boxes across the top reveals what occurred in 1616. I chose this because Shakespeare died that year. However, these things also occurred: Sir Walter Raleigh was released from the Tower of London, the Tartars invaded China, Cervantes also died, Catholics were oppressed in Bohemia, Rubens was painting, the Notre Dame Cathedral in Antwerp was completed, the organist Froberger was born, Baffin Bay was discovered, Cape Horn was first rounded, Galileo was prohibited from his scientific work, and many other interesting things. This book cost me only $6 at Gullion's, a fabulous used homeschool curriculum store in Statesville.

 This book will likely be the backbone of our history study, showing us what items we wish to investigate further. In addition, these old stand-bys remain, an atlas and two history encyclopedias.

 I found this gem at Gullion's too, for $8. It will be our go-to book on Egypt, with beautiful photos, drawings, maps and charts. It's huge -- over 500 pages. Julia is enthusiastic about Egypt this year!

 A few other books on Egypt. They will be references if we desire to dig into some topic more deeply.

 Here's a nice book on Rome, plus a fun "action pack," i.e. a put-together kit for building miniature Roman buildings. This will de-stress Julia when math is more than she can bear. I'll also have her draw/color a large map of the Mediterranean to accompany our study of Homer's Odyssey. She'll track Odysseus's travels on it.

 This brand new vocabulary set was only $8.

 We'll alternate the vocabulary with this grammar book. She finished the Fourth Course last year. This will be her last year of organized grammar study from a book.

 I think I went overboard on science books, and I'm not done ordering yet! I bought Apologia biology, 2nd ed. with the accompanying tests, etc. That will probably take all our time. I've heard good things from students about this text. I have the handy ole science encyclopedia, a small book on bones (something Julia particularly loves), a cool interactive book on the human body, and a few other Dorling Kindersley books. I still want the DK Eyewitness books on the skeleton, tree, ponds/rivers, and the cell.

 And last but not ever least ... her literature. These books drift over into history, which is as it should be. The first, Child of the Morning is a modern fiction about ancient Egypt. The remaining books are familiar if you enjoy classical education or ancient reading. Will we do every book in its entirety? Probably not. Some of Plato, a good bit of Ovid, two of Sophocles's plays. (I adore Oedipus Rex and Antigone.)

 I'm planning to read all of the Odyssey, and we'll read large portions of the Iliad aloud. That set on top was mine in graduate school.

If we only do what I've shown here, she'll have a fabulous year. I post this information for many reasons -- to help other homeschoolers, to inform family and friends of our year, to remind myself later of what her schooling was. But it's also posted for those few stubborn people out there who still think that homeschooling is lame and damaging to children. Homeschool kids generally get at least a good education and usually a rich one.  I am not a superstar homeschool mom. I am a pretty ordinary homeschool mom who has the advantage of teaching only one child now, and who's had some education and teaching experience, but only in literature and a little history. This means that you could probably do this too, if you wanted to. If you're dissatisfied with your child's education in the classroom, at least open your mind to the possibility of homeschooling. I'm told there are a few parents who really just can't do it. I'm sure there are some kids who wouldn't do it either. But most families could, if they tried. No one should feel trapped in a classroom education, without options.

A Cousin Visit

I must confess, straight up, that I did a terrible job of photographing the visit from relatives this past week.  They drove all the way from Iowa (with stops along the way), and we crammed tons of fun into basically two days of visit.

Kyrie, Aleya, Jonathan, Alynn, Tom, Adam, Philip, Kesse, Julia

I think it was Wednesday night that Adam made a huge lamb roast for supper.

This huge cast iron pan is over 20" wide.

A lively game of Dutch Blitz ensued. It's nice to have young people around who are up to this level of action. Anna joined us Wednesday night too!

We have rather limited space, but we're all family and pretty close, so it didn't matter.

Kayren and Philip compared cameras. I don't think either of them is into Dutch Blitz.

On Thursday Philip was off work, and he drove all the "kids" (aged 13-24) to the Atlantic Ocean. Some of the cousins had never seen the ocean, never set a toe in it. Philip said they came on the sand, instantly dropped all their stuff, and ran for the water.
So ... Adam and I, and Tom and Alynn took a leisurely day. We rode the ferry over to Cherry Point and went to the ice cream store.

The ferry is fun -- an easy way to enjoy the river without getting wet.

"Larking it up," as the British say.

Weather along the Neuse is so bizarre. In one camera frame, you get heavy clouds and rain.

One camera frame over, you get blue skies and white clouds.

Thirty seconds later the sky is black ...

But if you turn around, it's happy. And people try to sail in this weather!

Thursday evening everyone wanted to go crabbing on the pier, even with their sunburns from the beach. Adam works his crab pot.

Alynn watches her line with a chicken neck on the end. She caught three crabs, but all of them got away.

Kesse made sure to bring a book along, in case of boredom.

The pink crab lines drift into the water.

Kesse found a nice spot in the park.

Julia watches her line too. Somebody did eventually nap a crab, but he was little and they scurried him back into the river. I think he lost a leg or two while on the pier in human company. He'll grow them back.

A warning to fishermen ~

As sunset neared, the sky turned that lovely duo of pink and baby blue.

And the water glowed pink too.

I love the sky and water here!

I rode my bike home.

Isn't it amazing?

A Response to "How to Talk to Your Daughter About her Body"

There's an article going the rounds online. It's called "How to Talk to Your Daughter About her Body." I read it just now in the Huffington Post. It's written by Sarah Koppelkam.

I'm sure Sarah means well, and she says some good and important things in the article. But I'm always afraid readers out there will peruse an article, think "Hey, that sounds good!" and swallow it. Hook. Line. and Sinker.

Here are a few of the terse, quippish statements Koppelkam makes.

"Don't talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works."  That sounds clever. But what does it mean? What does it communicate to your daughter about her body, if you only ever talk about "how it works"? That her body is only utilitarian? Do you really want your daughter to think her body is simply a machine that should work well? Of course not!

What does the Bible say your daughter's body is? Her body is a temple for her spirit and a temple (more importantly) for the Holy Spirit. A body is an important thing to God, and should be to her. It is much more than simply a physical entity that should "work."

Another: "Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body." Because we wouldn't want our daughters to feel good about their bodies, would we? Okay, I understand that's not exactly what she's saying, but you know what? It comes across that way in the article. She steers dangerously close to this concept: A woman's body is not feminine. It is not an object of beauty. We shouldn't really be noticing it at all. Is that how you want your daughter to feel about her body? Is that how you want her to think others feel about her body? Unvalued? Unappreciated?

And another: "Don't ... talk about your new diet" in front of your daughter. Yeah. In fact, she says not to diet in front of your daughter. If you diet, do it in secret. Because we should be ashamed that we're trying to improve our bodies by becoming less obese and watching what we eat. Koppelkam assumes women always diet to improve their looks. Doesn't it occur to her that many people diet to improve their health? Duh?

Yet another doozie: "Prove to your daughter that women don't need men to move their furniture." (This one really gripes me!) I'm all for women being strong and capable. But this sentence is so loaded! You might as well replace "to move their furniture" with "fill-in-the-blank-helpful-male-activity." Tell your daughter, "You can do everything a man can do because you're just as muscular as he is." This is a lie. Or, "You don't need men's help." Another lie. This statement is so problematic regarding the whole family dynamic. What if I never left anything for my strong, healthy, helpful husband to do for me? "That's okay, honey! I can do it all myself!" That's a terrible relational example to show my daughter.

And: "Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter." I like butter as much as the next Slow Food Person, but the message behind this sentence stinks: 'Who cares about fat!? Eat whatever you want, as much as you want, no matter how unhealthy it is -- because your body is your own and you can make it as fat and unhealthy as you like!' Teach her to bake? Yes! Teach her the wonders of butter? Yes. Push her to unhealthy eating habits so she can shove-it to the whole Hollywood Modeling Establishment? No.

And last: "Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul." I'm sure Ms. Koppelkam was happy with this finishing line in her article. It lets the reader down ever-so gently after all her bombastic over-statements. Following all the emphasis on the body, it places that "soul" word on top like a decorative sprinkle. But the fact is, the body's purpose is not simply to hold a soul. It's not a container. It's not an empty robot designed to move a soul from one spot to another. This degrading of the body is tiresome to me.

The body and the soul are a beautifully, perfectly incorporated unity. Both are equally important. If the body were this disposable, this unessential, our resurrections would not be so important to God. But they are. God is determined not to give us new bodies for eternity. He's giving us our old ones back -- resurrected, perfected, but the same old bones and skin and smiles and hair. If He values our bodies this much, we should too.

One more word about beauty -- we're lying to our daughters if we attempt to give them a view of their bodies that doesn't address beauty. Beauty is not arbitrary; there is beauty and there is ugliness. Beauty comes in a wide range of flavors (thankfully), but we're involved in utter futility if we try to conceal from our daughters that: 1) beauty exists, 2) it's important to everyone, 3) it will effect their relationships, 4) their own beauty and others' beauty is worth observing, and 5) the world has standards of beauty that our daughters should study and understand.

Koppelkam's article advocates ignorance as a method of emotional protection for girls. That's not only ridiculous; it's dangerous. Help your daughter to find her own flavor of beauty and enjoy it. But don't convince her that her body is not designed for beauty, because that's a lie. She's eventually take it for the insult that it is.

A Quartet of Things

My friend Melissa is venturing into bloggy creativity during August. She's posting little vignettes of four, or what she calls "a quartet of things." I thought I'd join her. So here's my first contribution.

1.  One Creative Thing

The Starry Night by Van Gogh

And here's a poem I jotted down, my impression of this painting.

Van Gogh

What is this curl of air,

And this flame of tree?

Whose moons and stars fill the blueblack sky –

All nature writhing with life under his brush

While the spire and the rooftops sleep,

And dream.

With fewer scales than ours

His eyes saw the armies on the hillsides,

And his brush said, “Look! See!”

2. One Thankful Thing

I'm grateful for my marriage and my precious husband. We aren't perfect, but we have a life-long love, and it's our first priority on this earth. We miss each other deeply when we're apart. I thank God for choosing us for each other.

3. One Praying Thing

When my children were young and at home, I didn't pray for them much. I was with them, always watching, so I felt some degree of control. Now ... I pray. I plead with God to keep them safe, pure, with hearts always aware of Him. I pray for Him to do whatever He must, to keep them close to Him. If they're His children, they will always be mine.

4. One Beautiful Thing

The Stone Table, Henri le Sidaner, 1919