Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Holding On, Letting Go

Whether it's the trend of tiny-house living, selling all extraneous stuff on Facebook Marketplace, or simply rejecting their grandparents' or parents' oak furniture and wedding china, young adults believe in simplifying life. They reject hoarding or collecting of anything -- those hobbies are frowned upon. This is the age of Marie Kondo. It's not just a matter of saving money or having a smaller carbon footprint. Letting go of things not only de-clutters your house; it also de-stresses your mind and soul. So they say.
Image result for getting rid of junk
 For young adults who struggle with overwhelming anxiety, getting rid of all the 'junk' in life will help de-stress them. Never acquiring it in the first place? Even better.

I like this idea of getting rid of possessions, and I think I'm at an age to do that. Will Adam and I ever sell it all and move into a camper trailer? Probably not. But we can get rid of stuff. I'm hoping this cleaning-out tendency will have a snowball effect and my house will begin to slim down.
Image result for vintage camper trailer

But does this concept transfer to other aspects of our lives? Are there things besides possessions that we need to stop holding onto and begin letting go of? How are the young adults doing in this regard? Have we lost the skill of letting go?

Is there pressure to keep all our skills we acquire in life? To use every degree, every piece of education, every career step? It was liberating to me recently to accept that I once was a high school teacher, but I'm done with that and won't do it again. That I'm done with homeschooling and won't do that again. Will I be able to let go of crocheting, soap-making, gardening, playing the piano, singing? Or am I under pressure (from myself or from others) to never let go of any of these "skills" that I've acquired? Is it okay to do something for a while and then let it go? And if we simplified our inner lives in the same say that we do our homes, would it bring more peace?
Image result for too many friends on facebook

We could ask the same of relationships. Before social media, it was normal to have friendships that lasted for a month, a year, or a decade, but then quietly ended without distress on either side. With the arrival of social media, there's great pressure to never lose an acquaintance, to keep a tie to them just in case you need it -- why? Is it meeting our emotional needs to keep in touch with 5000 old friends, or is it causing us more stress?

Can I let go of people, of abilities, of possessions? Are there other areas of life that need letting go? What about beliefs or preferences? And I willing to change my mind and relinquish old ideas? 

Simplification for its own sake could be a mistake, but simplification for the sake of peace is valuable, if it actually works. What do you think? Have we lost the freeing ability to move on in life from the thousands of little ties that bind us ... or should welcome those ties that bind? I'm not sure how I feel about all this. I do think I'm at a stage in life when all the excesses are weighing me down, discouraging me, and preventing me from moving into a happier future. I want to learn to let go, take a deep breath, and say, "Ah! That feels better!" 

I'm wondering if this is just me or if anybody else has thoughts on this --
Above, a mountain of trash after a hurricane-damaged 2-story home was bulldozed after Florence, including all its contents. Do we just keep houses to store all our stuff?

9 comments:

Lisa Richards said...

I used to drive Bob crazy because I always wanted to "try" things and then toss them aside to go on to the next thing. He was brought up thinking you should stick with things once you began them. That would drive ME crazy. How limiting! :) I think it's a good thing to know when to let go, and, yes, it's impossible to keep up with all of the "relationships" online. I love our little blogging group, but other than that I mostly just keep in touch with family. Yeah, we can only do so much and too much can easily cause lots of stress. Good thoughts!

Donna said...

I have thought about this too. I think it's natural to let go of things you used to do, and then pick them up again, if you want to. This world is so congested with so much of everything. Trying to hold onto it ALL is too much.

Jackie See said...

Great post! I recently reached my goal of having nothing under my bed and having nothing on the floors of my closet. It took me a yea and a few disagreements along the way. It felt so good to see a flea market dealer haul it all off after giving me some cash. I haven't missed it at all. I do feel the urge sometimes to shop for something,then I remind myself of how much money I can save if I do something else!

Granny Marigold said...

I hope you won't give up crocheting, soap-making, gardening, playing the piano, and singing unless you no longer enjoy doing these things. I've noticed that the happiest and most interesting people have a variety of interests ( and collections).

Boyett-Brinkley said...

I had a dream last night that I had these enormous rubbermaid containers filled with all my children's toys and various other things I can't remember now. I was trying to get rid of them and every time I thought I had they would show up somewhere else in the house. I am a fan of decluttering but I am not a minimalist. I have to have certain things around me to be comfortable -- books come to mind -- but I don't have to keep every book that has ever crossed my life. Social media? I think social media is an unhealthy thing in general. With that said, I use it to keep up with family but I think it is a bad thing used to the extreme the youngsters use it. They will never be able to form normal relaltionships that way. Giving up hobbies and such? I find my interest changes from time to time -- I used to fight it thinking that I HAD to quilt forever but I don't -- I can quilt if I want to, or cross stitch, or whatever -- at my discretion. I let it go (not to break into song). This was a very good post and thought provoking.

Debbie Harris said...

What an excellent post!
You have certainly hit on a good thought proving subject here, one that has been going through my own mind and life these days.
As I age, I'm finding the need to purge and give away some of my treasures while my daughters are willing to take them and enjoy them while I'm still alive.
I do enjoy my humble home and have always enjoyed decorating it, but never to the extreme of changing out on a regular basis taking out the old and bringing in the new. I may make small changes, but if I like what I like, why change?
Over the years I have saved things that I am now realizing most go, and so, I am doing just that, and it feels good!
We own two very organized sheds, but even an organized hoarder must come to the place of purging.
When we had my parents estate sale I was quite shocked at the attitudes of our young people, they have no need for things, even heirlooms.

As for social media, I'm just not for it, though I do enjoy my hand full of blogging friends, but, that can sometimes seem overwhelming.
There has to be a happy medium, and I try to stay in those boundaries.

What a lovely visit here with you today, dear friend ♡

Boyett-Brinkley said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! Stop by anytime, love having you!

Carol Blackburn said...

Good day M.K., thank you for such a strong, thought-provoking post. It is good to begin letting go of clutter and other things that stress us out as we get older for in the end, those of us who have made it this far, will surely need to "let go and let God" for that all important time in our life.

magsmcc said...

I'm still mulling over what you said to me recently about just this notion of simplification for its own sake. I do think that recent years have brought us full-circle to a renewed understanding of more traditional=less materialistic and consuming lifestyles. But, as you say above with respect to friends, do we ruthlessly streamline our whole lives so that nothing is extraneous? It feels callous and naïve. Surely life's rich tapestry involves the awkward and the difficult too. I don't ever feel that I have much control over those things anyway, and isn't it Biblical that I see those issues as a chance to build character and faith?