Breathing Again

It's Saturday now. On Wednesday I took Adam to the E.R. in Greenville, on the rheumatologist's strong advice. He'd found nothing in his testing to indicate he could help Adam. "Take him to the E.R.," he said. We hoped to find more help at a large teaching hospital. And although it was hectic there and even scary from the influx of Covid patients, we were not disappointed. Adam was in bad shape (his tongue was so swollen it filled his mouth), but the worst part was the hopelessness of thinking we might not find help, that we would be sent home with him just the same. I cannot express the despair and fear of that.

But an internal medicine doctor who studied Adam's mouth sores decided to keep him overnight to do a culture on them. He is pretty certain the sores are viral infection. He also prescribed a steroid dental paste -- a steroid paste that you apply to your teeth so that it will transfer to your tongue and cheeks. This is a paste we already had at home, that had been prescribed by an ENT two months ago! But he gave Adam the wrong instructions for applying it (rubbing it into the open sores was not the correct way -- excruciating!), so it sat, unused. And Adam suffered for two months unnecessarily.

At the hospital he was also prescribed an anti-viral and a steroid mouthwash. He feels so much better -- his symptoms are under better control than when he was on steroid shots or pills. Will it last? We don't know. Is this caused by a virus? We don't know. Will it go away on its own? We don't know. We hope so. If this is also a virus, that means Adam contracted THREE viruses this spring. Somehow that seems bizarre and unlikely.

I have my own troubles: anxiety. I've struggled with anxiety for years, but these latest difficulties have made it a bit more debilitating. The trouble with anxiety is that it grows. The more distress you experience, the more anxiety you have, and each new event gives you a bit more. This is my own health issue to cope with, and I'll be addressing that, hopefully in more productive ways than I have in the past, on my own.

Since Adam feels better, he is cooking again! He didn't cook for about two months.

He made Chinese stir fry.

My tummy was so happy to meet Adam's cooking again!

I'm sewing masks again.

I've found a group of ladies in our county who make masks for charitable organizations to give out to their people who need them.

Hope Clinic is one, a free medical clinic in the county.

They provide the fabric and elastic. I'd stopped making masks because I had no more elastic.

I made 8 masks today: 3 large, 3 medium, and 3 child size.

I've done a little painting. I like these faded flowers.

This is a larger piece, not a card.

And some speckled eggs for fall:

A Facebook watercolor group sets a challenge each week. This week it's butterflies:

See the same fading technique here as with the flowers?

To be honest, I'm mostly resting at home, trying to convince my suspicious brain that things might be getting back to normal, that I'm not losing my husband, that there is hope for his future again. We really were losing that hope, watching it slip away day after day. There's no guarantee that this improvement will last ... but there's hope. We thank God for listening to the many prayers thrown up to heaven, and for answering. We hope in Him.