Thursday, August 20, 2015

Slowing Down to Breakneck Speed

I haven't been posting very often lately, partly because I'm posting a lot over at the Red Robin Farm blog (click on over to read the latest). There's lots going on at the farm. But mostly because we are all exhausted and utterly spent from all that's going on in life right now.

1. We must be out of our current house before Sept. 1. Repairs on the house are progressing, but we will likely be living in a total construction zone. Sigh. Adam has done huge work on the out-building. (He is exhausted.) We must cram ourselves into two bedrooms. Most of our stuff will be squeezed into the out-building.We are moving ourselves using our mini-van, which is doable, but will keep us zipping back and forth for the next ten days. The house is full of sheetrock and huge power tools, and they haven't started on the roof and ceilings yet.

2. I just started a part-time job, yes, I did! It seemed like a good time -- Julia's only homeschooling one class this year (French II) with me. I have more time. We can use the money. So ... right in the middle of our repairing and moving, I did two full days of training yesterday and today, and on Monday I start working, 2:30-6:00 M-F. I'm a tutor/teacher at a non-profit afterschool program here in our county called HeartWorks. I was so nervous and stressed about this job that earlier this week my nerves were giving me a tummy ache, 24/7. But the training has gone so well, and the people there are so wonderful, that I'm not nervous anymore. My two days there have been a real joy, and a little bit of escape from the other stressors of life.
Our team at in-service did a great job of using cards to build a tall tower.
We folded the cards - -clever!

3. So much is going on at our church. One of our precious elderly members is in hospice and in her final days. Also, there are other difficulties right now that have caused both of us to be on the very edge of our ability to cope. All pastors and their wives out there will smile sadly and understand.

4. Julia has finished her first week of classes at the community college in New Bern. This is 30 minutes away from the new house, so one of us must drive her and wait for her to be done. She is fine in her English comp. class, but the math class (Pre-Calc Algebra) has thoroughly done her in. Her stress level is much, much higher than mine right now (and that's sayin' something!). It's been a terrible struggle, with many tears and hours of trying to help her do assignments online. We still don't know how this will resolve -- coping with the class (seems unlikely), changing to another course (complicated), or withdrawing and attending the local high school (not a great option). Adam and I have tried to be helpful, but we can barely handle our own issues right now, much less Julia's. Home life has been wearying.

So ... there's an honest assessment of life recently! If any of these situations would just resolve and be done, it would be so helpful! Prayers are appreciated. Hopefully, in a couple of weeks life will have settled into a bit less chaos and crying. For you teachers out there, today I even cried in front of total strangers in our in-service training, just because some of the activities touched a little too close to home. I don't usually do that, and felt ridiculous although everybody was very sweet.

We all just want some NORMAL again. I hate waking up each morning, and two seconds later remembering: "Oh, ugh. I have to face all that again. I liked my dream better. Can I just go back there and skip this life?" Do you ever feel that way? I know you do. Do you ever have the huge knot in your stomach that makes you feel sick, keeps you from eating, and hurts? Yep. Mine is finally going away slowly. Julia's is still there, poor thing.
Julia tolerated one photograph on her first day of school.

7 comments:

  1. I can still clearly remember the stress of community college. It's been less than 3 years! I had Intro to Algebra and could barely stand it. Got an A, but everything was leaking out of my brain as fast as I could cram it in. I feel for all of you! May the Holy Spirit give you all wisdom as you make decisions. God bless you in your new job! They'll love you!

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  2. Life goes on and I think you are resourceful enough to work through the problems and come out somewhere on the other side. As for dreams, I'm usually glad when I wake up as I'm more in control of real life even when it is a challenge.

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  3. Oh dear MK ~ Pretty soon this time period will all be a thing of the past. Hang in there.

    I pray that you will feel God's loving presence, His strength, peace, love and joy, at this time.

    Enjoy your new job and have a great weekend ~ FlowerLady

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  4. We weren't meant to carry cares. The Lord tells us to give Him our burdens --- every one of them---and let Him handle them. And He doesn't want us to pick the things up again. Sending a hug your way.

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  5. I am praying this for you and Julia especially:

    PRAYER of the OPTINA ELDERS

    O Lord, grant unto me that with Thy peace I may greet all that this day is to bring. Grant unto me grace to surrender myself completely to Thy holy will.
    In every hour of this day
    instruct and guide me in all things. Whatever tidings I may receive
    during this day, do Thou teach me
    to accept tranquilly in the firm belief
    that Thy holy will governs all.
    Govern Thou my thoughts and feelings
    in all I do and say.
    When unforeseen things occur,
    let me not forget that all is sent by Thee. Teach me to behave sincerely and reasonably toward everyone,
    that I may bring confusion and sorrow
    to no one.
    Bestow on me, O Lord, strength
    to endure the fatigue of the day
    and to bear my part in its events.
    Guide Thou my will and teach me to pray, to believe, to hope, to suffer, to forgive,
    and to love.

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  6. Y'all are moving at breakneck speed! As to the storage...put mothballs saturated with peppermint oil in the building...helps keep mice and bugs at bay. Also, moth balls help.

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  7. Yes life does give us all different levels of stress and it seems you've been quite busy (why the move, did I miss that?) - School starts here next week and we've got our own stresses going on. Prayers for yours.

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