Thursday, October 5, 2017

The Brightness in October

I pressed these little weed flowers in a heavy book, and have started painting them. I finished a blog banner and have started on another one. (They will make an appearance after I'm tired of the flowers you see above.) I'm still journaling. It has been a little helpful. I have simply not been myself since coming home. Life feels very different since Lorien's death. I am in a slump of some kind and cannot seem to see everything as I used to. Life feels different, perhaps because one of us - a very dear one - is elsewhere, and this world is depleted, deflated. I find myself thinking of her and of our family out there, all day long. I pray a lot. I do not grieve hopelessly; I believe Lorien is with Jesus, in heaven, and we'll all be together again after this world is gone. And I'm not angry about it. It's a cloud of some sort -- I don't want to say gloom or sadness, but it has slowed me down, silenced me.
 I'm painting pumpkins and pecans. I ought to be writing and playing the piano, but they don't soothe me as painting does.
And I'm sipping tea.
 A lady came to the farmer's market and liked my wreath weaving (remember it?) -

 - but she didn't have room for the whole wreath. So I'm weaving her something similar, but on a grapevine twig. I found the right twig:
 Now I just need to get on with the weaving! 
Happily, I am reading this lovely book by Elizabeth Goudge, The Scent of Water. So many of you dear ladies have recommended it, and I'm loving every single word.
I was using that silly cocktail napkin as a bookmark. The dog reminds me of Beau. But I just painted up a better bookmark with a book and pages and letters falling from it.

The copy of the book I bought used online. It's old, and the pages are frail and crumble on their edges. Isn't it nearly miraculous that such a humble object can contain an entire world from one human's mind, and transfer it to all of us? That people's lives and mistakes and secrets and homes are all held within such a flimsy binding? Is it any wonder books are so wonderful to us, so mysterious?

On Saturday I'll be a craft vendor at Oriental's Ol' Front Porch Music Festival, a town event that has exploded in size and popularity in the past three years. I've been making scarves, lotions and salves, and wrapping lots of soap this week. Hopefully lots of people will come ready to buy! I want them to think: "Oh, what perfect Christmas presents!" and pat themselves on their backs for buying early :)

Thank you, dear readers, for stopping by. I am trying to find a brightness in October that has dimmed for me. Its beauty is all there, out my window. It's my eyes that are dim.


  1. It does leave an empty place when a loved one dies, even when we know we'll see them again. It does get easier with time, and I know they want us to go on with our lives and to experience as much of the joy of the Lord as we can here on earth. I'm doing a little painting, too, but mostly I'm vegging on the couch surfing the internet. Still recovering from a cold...or whatever it is. :) Hugs!

  2. MK, I felt similarly when my brother died this summer. Everything just seemed dimmer, less bright. I don't know, but I think it might be a part of the grieving process. Giving yourself time to feel that emptiness is ok. Tea and painting sounds like good therapy. God bless you.

  3. P.S. So glad you are reading The Scent of Water. It's an unusual story, full of wonderful descriptions and depth.

  4. You're in a fog. I so understand. You know gradually it will lift. Thankfully it will. Be kind to yourself. Go easy.

  5. I feel your 'fog'. As Lisa said, it does get easier with time. It is almost 5 years since my husband went to be with Jesus and I miss him daily, but the grief isn't as raw as in the beginning and knowing he is with Jesus gives me peace. We will be reunited.

    Let Jesus be your light in this dimmed October.

    Happy, peaceful creating whatever medium you work in.

    Love & hugs ~ FlowerLady

  6. Dear MK, I am praying that your joy returns 100 fold so that you begin to remember only the beautiful things about your loved one and they inspire you. How nice of that lady to want one of your weavings that will go well in her home. That is such an honor. Sending a gentle hug.

  7. I should think The Scent of Water just the sort of book that will nourish you in the right way during this time. God bless your dear heart, Mary Kathryn!

  8. Sorry for your loss, be strong, the fog will pass . Your paintings and crafts are gorgeous x

  9. I'm sorry you're feeling sad. Thankfully painting helps.
    I hope you have great luck at the craft market.

  10. Grief takes as long as it takes; it's different for each of us. Change will come when it's allowed, needed and accepted. It can't be rushed.
    Sandra at Thistle Cove Farm

  11. ♥....♥....♥
    We continue to pray for comfort for your family.


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