When I was a young woman I learned to be afraid of the public school system. I was taught this in a variety of ways from a variety of people, from the time I was a school girl all the way into my 40s. People in my "group," my "tribe," convinced me in quiet ways and very vocal ways, that the American public school system was evil, and that at all costs I should try to keep my children out of it. I believed them.
I never attended public schools. I married a man who had attended nothing but public schools until he went to the private college where we met. He did not seem any worse for wear, but he freely admitted that he considered his academic training to be inferior. So we decided to homeschool. Or rather, I decided to homeschool, and he readily agreed with me.
I picked something to fear. Everyone does. Right now, various Americans consider quite a few entities to be Things to Fear:
All these fearful people have one thing in common: they're terrified, and they cannot be convinced otherwise. It takes a lot for people to change their minds about their fears. They have to admit their fears are unfounded, that they were wrong in their assessment. Then they have to accept the entity they used to fear, and see it as less harmful, perhaps harmless.
I could have saved our family a lot of grief if I hadn't been so afraid of the public school system, and so stubborn in my fear. Some of my kids might have been happier. They would have had more friends. I would have had more friends. We might have stayed settled in one place longer, and we certainly would have felt more a part of the community. Instead we slogged our way through two decades of homeschooling and various teaching stints at private schools. That wasn't all bad either, but we made educational decisions based on fear, which is never a good basis for decisions.
I didn't think I was afraid; I thought I was wise and well-informed. Perhaps the hardest traits in ourselves to admit are fear and stubbornness. When I find myself giving something a very wide berth, I must ask myself, "Am I afraid of it?" If the thing I'm afraid of it a large group of people, an organization, then almost always my fear is unfounded. It's too general. There's no way that all the individuals are evil, in a group of hundreds, or thousands, or tens of thousands of people. If I am afraid of an individual person, I also have to ask myself if my fear is valid, justified. If it is, then the appropriate response is forgiveness. Forgiving them is the only way to free myself of the damaging effects of my fear.
On social media, I see so much fear, but it is expressed in anger. Usually when people sound angry, they are actually afraid. I'd love to get rid of my fear because then I could feel contentment and peace again. Fear crushes love, and drives out peace, and eats away the soul of the fearful.
5 comments:
Yes, the enemy uses fear. I think that even though you may have feared the public school system, you also had discernment. Discernment is good. There's only one WAY as we know. The road is narrow. We love but we don't go along with the self-centered way of those who are lost. Come Lord Jesus.
I must admit to being quite fearful. I didn't start out that way but I know that now that's what I am. I think this darn Covid has created so much fear and I see my youngest grands so afraid of going anywhere (even though they have had their first jab). They've hardly gone anywhere this summer. No fun with friends, nothing.
As for schooling I would have liked to send our kids to a Christian school but there was no way we could afford it. Home schooling never even entered my mind. Who knows if my kids would be different now. Maybe they'd resent me. We do our best, don't we.
I do believe fear is driving the current craze of misinformation. Believing something like a vaccine is harmful when science tells us it is not, when we can see with our own eyes from the broad sweep of examples nationally that something is not harmful ... but actually helpful and protective and probably life saving ... well, that is a fear that may hurt, and even kill.
Interesting post.
I know I've acted out of fear most of my life. I do think it had some impact on my decision to homeschool, but I still think it was the right decision. I still struggle with anxiety and depression, but God can still work around all my struggles if I ask Him to. We certainly do have to take people on a case-by-case basis. Fear isn't from God. Pom has some good wisdom...as usual! :) Blessings and peace on us all! Yes, COME LORD JESUS!
Oh I can certainly relate to what you have written. Fear has always affected my life in so many ways, well, my decisions in life. My daughter Lynn homeschooled her four children. I think a lot, if only I could go back...but who knows...doing something different may have turned out worse. I probably haven't made a lick of sense here.:)
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