This is that longing time. This is my "winter" -- the season when I feel discouraged, bored, restless, depressed, lethargic, and prone to too many naps. I really don't like summer.
I was feeling quite down a few days ago, quite dissatisfied with my indoor, cooped-up life while the sweltering heat and clouds of mosquitoes reign supreme outside my window. If you live up north, remember how you feel about ice and snow in February? Yeah ... that's my summer.
I'm cheering myself with painting and thoughts of how June, which is now a memory, is supposed to be:
I started with a strawberry border.
What other things bloom in June? Roses, of course, and a few pinks.
I finished a prayer shawl and started a new one, having rejoined my little Thursday group of ladies again on a more regular basis.
I might mention also ... if nobody minds ... about finances. (I know, what a topic!) But we bloggers want to share meaningful information, right? And many of us in our 50s and 60s are in the same boat: empty-nesting, working still, wondering about "retirement" (whatever that is, and if it ever really might happen), and some of us are struggling to make our finances work. That's one reason I considered job-hunting again.
Should I regain my contentment at home? Should I be contributing to our income more? Should Adam find some additional income to compensate for his salary? Finally I sat down with our real budget and crunched the numbers -- and here's where I feel like some of you might be able to relate. Our finances are tighter than I realized, but they are (for now) doable -- if we make a concerted effort to economize more. Simplify more. Regulate and schedule more. We were overspending so much on groceries, of all things! We'd gotten out of our old habit of shopping once a week, instead dashing to the store for any handful of items we thought we needed for dinner that night. I thought perhaps we were over-spending on farm improvements or eating out or car repairs, but it turns out it was our constant runs to WalMart. That, I can take in hand and correct.
I may still find some work to do outside the home, but that will be the second corrective measure; the first will be more careful attention to our budget. Are any of you in the same boat - a few of you maybe? I know some of you have professional husbands or had lucrative professional careers yourself, and you are set in a comfortable retirement. Some of us are still puzzling out that future.
The other thing Adam and I do each day is watch with bewilderment the war zone that is Facebook. I have close friend/old friends/new friends/acquaintances who are on opposite sides of the Hate Wars -- i.e. politics these days. What unkindnesses can be thrown back and forth today? What old relationships can be trashed? We watch with horror as sweet people who wouldn't hurt a fly say the most unkind things to others. I remember, years ago, thinking that the online platform was a handy place to thrash people soundly with my opinions. I no longer feel that way, nor does Adam. (I may share my thinking and reasoning, but I try to do it calmly and moderately.) Our new rule when interacting with people on social media is caution and kindness. I do not block or unfriend anyone on Facebook, but I do occasionally "unfollow" a friend whose public conversation has become offensive. If it would cause me to cringe and leave the room in person, that's my cue to "leave the Facebook room," so to speak.
So, so many of us are in the dangerous middle no-man's-land in the War of Hateful Words. It's worse, I think, not to take a side. To hold up one's arms and holler, "Cease fire, folks!" No one listens except the others who also long for peace.
We live in a land of peace. Isn't that what our ancestors strove for? What we strive for? What we are thankful for when we view nations around the world with gutted cities and bombed neighborhoods and refugees fleeing soldiers? Why would we ruin our precious peace with the anger and vitriol we spew each day? Caution and kindness. I will work harder to let these words guide and guard me.
Peace to all of you, friends. Thank you for stopping by! I had little to offer but a small watercolor -- stay cool out there!
8 comments:
You're not alone - I am not a big fan of Summer. I love Autumn and could be very satisfied with 8 months of Autumn and 4 months of Winter. Unlike most people who live in the "North" - I do not get sun worship crazy or hang out at the pool or lake. Not my gig. Despite saying all of that - with our consistent 80 and 90 degree range weather, this year, I have still spent more time outside than usual. I will get control of the weed situation around here, even it's the last thing I do. We moved here a couple of years ago and the entire yard had been somewhat neglected - we've had trees trimmed and others cut down - now fighting all the "volunteers" that grow everywhere - tons of shrubs that are over grown and spreading and look horrible and a row of lilacs that are in dire need of help and the row of bridal wreath that really needs a hair cut. Not easy and extremely time consuming and I have limits because of osteoarthritis, degeneration of the back and neck and bursitis in my shoulder and good old arthritis in my hands - but my dad always says, "keep moving, even if it's slower than you used to - better than the alternative" and he's 86 and still plugging along. I am hopeful that a long Winter and hardly any Spring will mean a short Summer and an early Autumn. Fingers crossed. Take Care. Ranee (MN)
Pretty June page! I like it. Keep painting during your dark days of summer. It has turned hot here now -- in the 90s and feeling quite like summertime.
For me there is not a season I don't like. Each one that comes I like and I'm always ready for the next one that comes along.
I had a FB account for a short time years ago. Just didn't like it like I do blogging and I only have time for one.
Ranee, I'm also from MN. I go for the occasional walk on the local trail, but I tend to still stay indoors a lot. I don't like frying in the sun, and even though I'm just 1/4 mile from a lake, I seldom go near it. I probably could use a little more sun and fresh air. Need to improve there.
I'm avoiding the political wars on FB. I've unfollowed a couple of folks because it just causes instant stress and blood pressure fluctuation. No point in it. Hopefully we'll steer clear of that in our blogs so we have at least one pleasant place to go.
We couldn't afford life insurance because of my hubby's health history, so I had nothing when he died and had to sell our farm. Thank the Lord my wonderful older kids were able to help. I also worked three years after his death until I was old enough to collect widow's benefits. That doesn't quite stretch to pay the bills, so my step-dad is helping out. Yes, I could go get a job, but he wants to help right now. After I move to my daughter's it should stretch, and I'm trying to be of help to her with the kids, which I couldn't do if I worked. The Lord provides in various ways. :)
I love the watercolor painting!
You draw flowers really pretty! I have said, for as long as I can remember, that once the 4th of July comes I am done with summer. From July through September it is nothing but hot sticky humid weather here in NC. Hard to get in the mood to do anything! Think I know how you feel.
Keeping the yard under control is hard work! Your dad is so right about keeping moving, even if it is slower than it used to be. I feel that way too!
You are keeping busy, Lisa, and you ARE so much help and encouragement to your kids. I know you can relate to this situation.
I'm not crazy about summer either, and down here in s.e. FL the hot sticky weather can last well into October. I 'try' to get out to work outside between 7-10, then hibernate in the a.c.
Finances, was under the 'wrong' impression about s.s. found out when my dear husband left this planet. You only get whichever will give the biggest pay out, not both. I lost the job I'd had for 17 years 2 1/2 years after he was gone, a small bonus and that was that. My ss ck. is small, it barely pays my bills, but my van and my little cottage are paid for. I am working on cutting back on groceries myself. I'm also thinking about part-time work. I pray and tell Jesus all my thoughts/worries about it all. He is taking care of me, He knows what is best for me, all for His honor and glory.
Your drawing/paint is a wonderful way to beat the doldrums. The other night when I was having a rough time, I sat down with my Inspire Bible and colored the drawing for Ps. 91:2 (NLT)-
This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him. -
He is my strength when I am weak.
I just finished a 'comfort/prayer' lap blanket for a friend. Just have to tie off the yarn ends and weave in.
What is the pattern for your prayer shawls? How wonderful to be able to get with other ladies and make these.
Enjoy being creative at this 'weary' time and then you'll have more to sell at the market come fall. :-)
I'm not on FB and don't care to join. I'm more or less out of the church loop, but other's let me know what I need to know that's going on.
May God's pure joyous light fill you and surround you. We have much to be thankful for.
Have a nice weekend with Adam ~ FlowerLady
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