Thursday, July 30, 2015

Hello Again

I've been absent in recent days. I've had trouble with photos on my computer -- not sure if any of you have similar woes. I used Iphoto, and then it stopped being supported by  Apple, and stopped working for me. So ... I switched to Picasa, since Google seemed to want me to. And boom! -- as soon as I got as many photos as I could salvage out of Iphoto into Picasa, it became unsupported by Google! Argh!

So now, Adam and I have tentatively slid into Google Photos, and are hoping it will work well. But honestly, I have to get into the program and find out how in the world it works. It's like a maze to me, each time I try something new on the computer! I'll try to get a few photos here at the end of the post, and see if it works :)

My personal stress and shocking anxiety of recent days is a bit better. In the past few years I've generally handled it better, but this particular series of events really threw me for a loop, and made me realize how very weak and helpless I am in the face of fear. I wanted to pray for others when I was sleepless, but my mind kept racing, unable to focus or think coherent thoughts. I was panicked. I needed rest, but fear kept me awake. I read the Bible, but my brain found it hard to comprehend the words. I pleaded with God to send His Holy Spirit to fill and calm my own spirit, and He did, over and over, until I slowly began to feel better. Talking with a friend helped. After a while, thinking and reasoning with myself helped too. I drove in the car for about nine hours on Monday, and that gave me time to sort through my fears and examine them.

Our house closing was to happen tomorrow, but probably won't now -- next week, we hope. It's a lengthy, complicated loan, with so many documents to hand in. (sigh!!!) We wait. God usually asks us to wait, and wait, and wait, before He ever asks us to do anything.

I'm also looking for a part-time job, to help make ends meet, but also because my youngest child will soon begin community college, and I want to be busy, and not sitting around the house checking facebook :) You know how it is!

Yesterday was our 26th wedding anniversary.
 Here's Adam, when we were dating. He loved photography.
 Scrounging around in photo albums, looking for pictures from mission trips, I found this one from Poland. I think it was 1988. That's me in the blue turtleneck with a perm! My translator Ewa is over my shoulder. I've always wanted to get in touch with her agian.
 Around the same time I was hanging out with a crowd of fun girls. Oh, we had so much fun! I'm sprawled out in the middle of the couch with my mouth hanging open. I do wonder what we were all watching on the TV. "Princess Bride"? From the time I was 18 until this point, I had clearly come out of my shell.
 And just to show that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and I get that silliness honestly ... here's my mother (in the middle) with two friends, in 1948.
 A few more random photos from the past -- this is in Iowa, about 2000? Cousins, having fun together. It was wonderful when my kids' cousins came to live so near us then. They were very hard days in many ways, but perhaps we didn't see then what we can see now -- that God put us all together there for our blessing.
 Philip and Peter with Philip's good buddy Adam, on the left. You can tell from the landscape that it's Iowa.

 I mentioned it was our anniversary. Celebration was quite low-key this year. We ate breakfast at the local diner. I took photos of us as we start this 27th year together. I can truthfully say I think Adam is cuter now than when I met him, and that's sayin' something! Happy anniversary, darling. Even if we never ever get that little farm, and even if everything else in life falls apart, we still have each other, and that is the very best. I consider my (quite a few now) widowed friends, and I do wonder how in the world they face the troubled days in life without their husbands. I would be so bereft. When I was so fearful and anxious lately, what a comfort it was to sit close to Adam and feel him near. How weak I am. God knows I'm certainly not capable of facing widowhood yet. I admire you ladies who are passing through those dark waters with such grace.
Not to end on a sad note -- Happy end-of-summer to everyone! Autumn will be here before we know it, and I do hope I will be sharing it with you from our little farm.


10 comments:

  1. Matt. 6:34-So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
    I know you've been clinging to this verse. Keep thinking on it. As for widowhood, it's included in this verse. I think it's better not to think too much about that event until the time comes. God will give you grace for each day, whatever your obstacles may be. And you do learn to lean on Him more each day. The enemy likes to keep us tied up in knots with all of the "what if's" of life. Stick your tongue out at him! :)
    I can see how you would want to find a part-time job to keep you occupied if everyone else is going to be gone during the day. Hope you find something creative and enjoyable!
    Glad to see you got the photos working. I don't know about all the Picasa, Google, etc. stuff. I just upload pictures from my computer and it works! I'd get discouraged if I had to think about it more deeply than that, lol.
    Happy end-of-summer! I came home from work, took a nap, and then did some lawn mowing. I've earned some vegging out on the 'puter. ;) Looking forward to a weekend off. Love you, dear!

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  2. Cute you guys! Happy anniversary to you!
    You'll get the farm and all will be well.

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  3. Dear MK ~ What a sweet little post! Thanks for sharing tidbits from your life, then and now.

    Happy 26th anniversary!

    I'm glad you feeling a bit better from what sounds like a 'full blown' panic attack. Bless your heart! I'm glad you had Adam by your side to give you comfort and love.

    As one of your 'widow friends', yes it is hard facing troubled times without my husband. I miss him daily. It's been almost 32 months, and I'm doing much better than in the beginning, although I do still have times of tears. There are times of laughter too, and lots of loving memories surrounding me here in our little tropical haven.

    God has been and continues to be my strength.

    Yes, we do have to wait sometimes, but waiting can make a thing so much sweeter and better when it does happen.

    I'll pray about your job, that the right one will come along.

    Have a lovely weekend ~ FlowerLady

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  4. He hears you every time you cry out for help. He is your shepherd, and you shall not want or lack for ANYTHING. In the precious, matchless name of Jesus, I command the attacks of the enemy to cease now. He was defeated on the cross of Christ all those years ago. All the devil and his cohorts can do now is talk and threaten. And it's completely ineffective against the name of Jesus.

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  5. Happy Anniversary!
    Things will work out with the house. : )
    Someday I'll have to tell you about how we ended up here! God was certainly in control. : )

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  6. I also thought my husband got cuter after the age of 50 or so. I have a picture of him that was taken just three years ago that makes me fall in love with him all over again, he has got such a twinkle in his eye.
    Happy Anniversary, Dear Ones!

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  7. Continuing to pray for you M.K. Happy anniversary to you and your husband. And I will pray that things get sorted out for your new house. (Loved to see your silly side. I have one of those too!)

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  8. Happy Anniversary! I popped in for a little visit and was happily reminded how we are in very similar stages of life (we celebrated our 26th in May...and agree, these husbands seem to get cuter with age, not so sure I do though) and how my two youngest are enrolling in the local jr college and I am looking at part-time work (substitute teaching). I am excited to hear you are a buying a house? The one you are in or another? But am sorry and sad to see you are worried over something troubling and pray the Lord will provide, comfort and give you peace. Hope all else is well. Love from tx, Leslie

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  9. Happy, Happy Anniversary you two! You're both cute! Keep on holding hands and trusting God and you'll be ok. He's got all the details in His hands. Looking forward to your Farm News!

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  10. Dearest M.K. ~ First, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! A little late, but my best of wishes to you both. I really enjoyed this post. You shared from your heart in so many ways with many things going on in your life.
    The photos were a delight to see, thank you for allowing us a glimpse into your lives.

    I have a friend who goes through panic attacks, and never knows when they will strike. Bless your heart. I will add you to my prayer journal and lift you up to the Lord. May you find peace and comfort in resting on His everlasting arms.
    God will tenderly take care of you and meet your needs.

    I've been away... are you looking to buy a little farm?

    Have a most beautiful day ~ Debbie

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