Friday, March 23, 2018

Mother-of-the-Bride Dress, or Being the World's Worst Shopper

I went shopping alone for a dress for Anna's wedding in June. I'm a terrible shopper, friends. I suffer with chronic indecision. (Choosing a dish at a restaurant is also a nightmare.) Adam declined to go to town with me when he discovered that I was intending ... to shop for a dress.
I went to the same shop where I found dresses for Philip's and Peter's weddings, a lovely consignment shop in New Bern, Twice As Nice. Two cheerful, helpful girls patiently aided me:
 Yes, I asked to take their picture and told them they would be on a blog post. They were sweet.

Now, the dresses in the order in which I tried them on. I am about a size 16. I have a large bust, plus a good bit of hip and tummy. My poor leg veins look like a NYC road map, so shorter skirts are out. Certain necklines are also ill-advised. 
too frilly,
looks like pajamas
too snug,
must not accentuate bust!


too big,
terrible shape
not too bad,
I dislike geometric patterns.


quite frumpy,
too large
best thus far,
the cut of the bust is wrong


the dress of a 3-part outfit,
not very fancy
same dress with its jacket,
looking rather drab


now it's the skirt and jacket
(as a blouse). better neckline
Everyone prefers this one.
Nice fit. Good fabric
 At this point I reclothed, posted some photos on facebook, and asked for friends' opinions. Most preferred the last one -- the blue/black geometric pattern with the short black jacket. I confess: it makes me look my best. But I dislike geometric patterns, and I don't like skirts that fall just below my knee. So all my inability to decide kicked in! Naturally, I thought I'd try on more dresses ...

The salesgirl found this dress.
We added a little jacket.
Still dislike geometry.


I returned to the 3 piece outfit.
The girls found a white shell.
Inexplicably, I return to the drab dress.
I now notice my hip bulges.


A salesgirl found a lovely, lacy shawl to lighten the look.
This last outfit looks better in person. The dress falls just above the ankle. I bought this one. In addition, I'll have the skirt and blouse if I want them. I'll find some comfy white sandals and a dangley silver necklace.
Before handing over my credit card, I texted Adam and asked his opinion. He knows me. He knows I won't like the geometric patterns or the shorter skirt. He knows I opt for hippie farm-wife clothing whenever possible, and little black jackets are just not me, no matter how much better they suit my body type. He recommended the long dress and the white lacy drape.
Then one of the salesgirls asked me two crucial questions:
"Which one of the dresses makes you feel pretty?"
and,
"Which one of the dresses makes you feel comfortable?"
I can't tell you why, but I won't ever feel pretty with geometric patterns across my tummy. And I'll never feel comfortable in a skirt that shows all my lower legs. I would have to wear pantyhose, probably support hose. In June. I hate all pantyhose passionately. With the long dress, I can get by with no pantyhose whatsoever, and no one will ever know!

Why do we choose to wear things that we know aren't the most attractive option? At some point in my life did I define myself in such a way that I'm now compelled to buy dresses that are less than flattering? There's nothing wrong with the longer dress. I just have ... preferences. And they affect my clothes shopping. But it takes me two hours, two salesgirls, a host of facebook friends, and a few texts with my husband, to figure it all out.

Tra la la!! One more item on the wedding check-list is ticked off! :)

10 comments:

Lisa Richards said...

I applaud your decision! Besides, Anna said you should buy it! lol! I'm with you on all the points you made. I hate geometric patterns. You and I are organic girls! :) It took me forever to find a dress for Jordan's wedding, too. I love the "hippy", flowy dress I finally found in a shop of hippy clothing. ($26!) But when I look at photos of myself in the dress I don't think I look great in it. Probably because I'm not a model, ha ha! And so, we do our best. Yes, be comfortable and buy what you feel best in. There will be enough stress without stressing over pantyhose and being uncomfortable. Great choice! :)

Granny Marigold said...

I don't believe there's anything more stressful than buying a dress for a special occasion. Well, maybe buying a bathing suit is just as bad but I never wear one any more so that's fine with me.
I'm still reading Simple days and I marked a passage on page 125 where she talks about "dropping socially constructed affectations of femininity....". I'm so in agreement with her on that. Your thoughts?

Donna said...

I am also looking for a dress, for my middle sons wedding in May. I want something in spring color, but most of those look like a night gown on me! I really like the dress you chose-looks fine. I'm the same size and cannot do short! Wish me luck!

Carol Blackburn said...

I'm so glad you finally took off your socks and put shoes on. I was going to suggest taking the shoes you will be wearing so you can really see the whole outfit. Also if you will be wearing your hair up, then pull it back and up with a few pins. If your legs are bothersome you can always wear darker hosiery or apply some cover-up on them for the day. I do like both of the last selections of each session best. May I suggest that if you are putting your hair up for the day, add something like a nice hair comb, flowers or pearls. I bet you'll be lovely and have a wonderful day.

Henny Penny said...

I enjoyed this post! You picked the right dress. You look very pretty in the last dress and I love it with the white shawl. Oh my, I cannot make a decision on anything! Another thing we have in common! What I can't believe is how many of your posts I've missed. Good grief! I've been sitting here catching up. Have I been in a coma?

happyone said...

I liked the one you picked. It looks very nice on you.
I'm not a fan of shopping either but I usually make up my mind quick.

Gumbo Lily said...

What I like about the first geometric print and jacket is that the jacket nips you in at the waist and shows off your hourglass figure. I do understand not liking the geo print though. I'm not crazy about them either. I like your choice, but somehow I'd like to try a belt or even a lacy, long crochet belt over your lace cardi. I'm thinking a long necklace will look pretty too.

I'm terrible at shopping for myself too. Nice that you had young helpers!

Unknown said...

Congratulations on a super pick, looks great and is going to be comfortable! What an ordeal! Good job getting so much help!

Kezzie said...

Actually, my Mum chose a very similar shape of dress for my wedding (and a shawl too!) - she is also a hippy girl that likes comfort. I like it with the shawl. When she was talking about outfits for my wedding, I said to her, "Why don't you wear your wedding dress? It's really pretty and you'd be comfortable in it." She was really happy I said that and so she wore it and looked herself. I definitely wouldn't have wanted her in some Mother of the Bride outfit that she would have been uncomfortable with. What about a pretty vintage crystal Aurora Borealis beaded necklace to go with it? And droplet earrings like that. That would look really pretty!

melissa said...

Hippie farmwife. Yep! Suits you. I tend to go bohemian. Not much different. I prefer long lengths too. Excellent choice
Layers are always perfect.