Thursday, March 8, 2018

The International Day of My Women

Today is International Women's Day. I thought I'd share with you some of the women who went before me. None of them had a chance at feminism or women's rights. None of them had any spare time to fight for anything for themselves.
Here's my great-grandmother, "Mungie" (Margaret Myrtle). She survived three husbands, bore (I think?) eleven children, only four of whom lived to adulthood. She was poor and sometimes homeless before there were any social safety nets.
 Above, as a teenager, I think the oldest child in her family.
Below, with her daughter, my grandmother Dama.
Everyone whose spoken of Mungie describes her as unfailingly kind and cheerful.
Dama was a problematic woman, not cheerful like her mother, but very strong, very determined. She raised my mother, her sister's child, after that sister died. 
This is Nina, that sister, who died of Tuberculosis at 19 years. So much tragedy, so much loss, so much of life missed.
This is my daddy's mother, Julia.
 Julia had a difficult life. After having four children, her husband became an alcoholic. They lost their home, and life fell apart. When most women might prefer to relax at home, viewing retirement, Julia was working full-time in a department store, maintaining the home, suffering greatly with her husband, and trying to hold life together.
Julia's daughter is Ann, my aunt.
She's one of the strongest women I know. She is firm, intelligent. She endured a difficult marriage herself, raised three fabulous children, got her nursing degree, and worked full-time in nursing until she was 80 (I think). She's an amazing, sharp, generous woman.

I wish I had a better photo of my aunt Lois. 
This is from Daddy's funeral in January. Lois had seven children and was married to a pastor. That meant frequent moves and doing without. I remember Lois as the lively, animated, cheerful  center of her family. She's a tiny women but full of energy.

My mother, JoAnn:
I'll keep the trend of black-and-white photos.
My mother is probably most like Mungie. She's a nurturer, a listener, kind and helpful. She's raised five children, and I must confess that some of us have been sources of great grief to her over the years. She, however, is steady and reliable, loving and faithful. For about 15 years of that child-raising, my daddy was out traveling, sometimes for two or three weeks at a time. Mother soldiered on at home alone -- without a car at times -- without batting an eye. She had five children in six-and-a-half years.

These are all women of the pre-feminist movement, women who (except my Aunt Ann) did not have higher education, did not have careers. They spent their lives in the service of husbands and children, and often sacrificed everything for family. They were strong though, assured, hard-working, opinionated and articulate. Women of 75 and 100 years ago suffered great hardship and heart-ache, and kept going. These women went before me, and my knowledge of what they were like has impacted my view of myself. My mother especially has shown me how to juggle the many responsibilities of self, husband, children, extended family, church, and friends -- all with grace and elegance and kindness. If only I had all the strength and gentleness together, that these women expressed. Thank you, dear ladies! I am privileged to come from you!

6 comments:

Pom Pom said...

I love this! Yay for women who have squishy hearts of love and guts of steel.

Gumbo Lily said...

Wonderful, strong women. I often wonder how they managed with so many difficulties. Perhaps Jesus?

FlowerLady Lorraine said...

You are blessed to have had these strong women in your family. Amazing! I love what Pom Pom said, "Yay for women who have squishy hearts of love and guts of steel."

Have a great weekend M.K. ~ FlowerLady

happyone said...

Amazing women. We sure have nothing to complain about!!

Granny Marigold said...

What a line-up off strong women! I can hardly imagine their difficult lives. Your Mother looks so lovely and confident. You look a lot like her.

Carol Blackburn said...

Good day M.K. such an intersting post. Have a blessed day!