I asked Adam this question this morning: "Have I ever had a job that didn't stress me out?"
He laughed and said, "No."
Why is that? Am I a bad, stressy employee? One or two previous employers might say so. Working in the church office (much as I adored my bosses) was stressful in my early 20s. Teaching school (much as a loved literature and teaching) was stressful. I've been doing an after-school program for only a month now, and it is stressful.
I seem to be the common denominator. Is it me?
I've worked at some wonderful organizations, but it's true that when I talk to folks who've worked in Christian ministry for any amount of time, they privately agree with me that there is overwhelming stress in working there. So it's not just me.
A number of years ago I gave up working outside the home, convinced that was the problem; I wasn't cut out for working outside the home. Is that still the problem?
In my family, we've always semi-joked that we Robinsons don't work well for other people. My daddy seemed to handle it well (with effort) for decades. I don't think it was easy. He traveled for weeks at at time, fund-raising, and was "away from the office" and out on his own. He was allowed very much to manage his own schedule, his own work, as the years went along. This must've made it easier for him.
One brother is a self-employed farmer. His brief foray into teaching was quite stressful too. Another brother owns his own surveying business; he's his own boss. Another has said for years that he finds it difficult working for someone else and has been self-employed on-and-off. So .. is this a family trait?
I'd love to figure this out. The only "work" I've really enjoyed and found stress-free is knitting/crocheting/soap-making/lotion-making for the farmers' market. Am I doomed in the job market? Should I give up finding a job that I can enjoy? Should I resign myself to staying home, or is it possible to find a job you really can leave behind, when you come home? It's difficult to enjoy home right now, because I spend all my home-hours recovering from work, or rehashing in my brain the interpersonal troubles from there.
Have any of you had similar problems with working outside the home? Do you have wise advice on this topic? I'd love to know. I need to decide if it's a lost cause to work out there in the big world. Adam, by the way, says my greatest talent is writing, and I should be throwing myself into that, but I have absolutely no idea how to turn that talent into cash, and I'm no good at marketing myself.
I know this is a scattered post. Help me if you can :)