Thursday, February 21, 2019

Paint, Yarn, and Conversation

The sun came out. The snow melted. Mother and I have been comfy in her old house in front of the fire. I've been knitting and painting.
 Mother wanted a picture in which Bonnie's ears are out:
 Baby kimono:
 I added a blue accent around the whole neck edge and around the cuffs.
 More watercolor cards!



I'm not sure all of them are quite finished. I'll paint again tomorrow and ask myself then. I've had a second order for cards, which is so exciting and encouraging. If you'd like to buy some, please do let me know.

My lovely niece made supper for us today, a roast and veggie bake plus homemade dinner rolls. It was delicious. More family arrives tomorrow, with a big dinner tomorrow night. Then I'll leave the mountains quite early Saturday, and get back to my dear hubby, puppy dogs, and chickens who miss me so much. Well, not so sure about the chickens.
One more little thing is on my brain. Have you blog friends seen any memes like this on Facebook or elsewhere?
Image result for meme: get rid of the toxic people in your life
There are many variations of this idea. Basically we're encouraged to evaluate all the people in our lives, decide if they make us happy or contribute to our well-being, and if they don't then they must be removed for our own welfare.

Yes, there are some toxic people. There are some dangerous people. But no, most people aren't that way. I'm a little worried about this advice, about feeling good about cutting people off because we think we've correctly evaluated them as not contributing to our happiness, our sense of self-worth. It reminds me of that Marie Kondo method, except applied to friends. Take a friend out of your friend closet. Hold him up and ask yourself if he sparks joy in you. If he doesn't, on the dust heap he goes.

This harks back to the previous post and shows why this is a topic that I'm conflicted about. Do we have people in our lives who cause us pain? Treat us cruelly? Are unfair, bullying, rude, unkind? Do they all deserve to be kicked to the curb? 

How does that reconcile with "I am my brother's keeper"? Even when my brother is difficult, annoying, selfish, hurtful -- how many criterion can I come up with that will allow me to be off the hook and claim, "I'm not my brother's keeper when he's like this." 

I'm wrestling with this topic because it seems from social media that we're being fed this idea that all relationships revolve around personal happiness. Commitment in the face of troubles and flaws in the other person isn't valued. This worries me. At the same time, it's important to recognize truly dangerous people who put yourself or your family at risk. 

What do you think? Have you noticed this trend in culture lately? Do you tend to lean one way or the other? 

4 comments:

Carol Blackburn said...

Hello M.K., how wonderful you are enjoying a visit with your Mother. So many of us have no parents left and are the elders ourselves now. I am hoping to get back to some painting myself. Now that my grandson has moved out (after 4 years) I can turn the room back into a studio of sorts for myself again. Safe travels home.

Boyett-Brinkley said...

Good morning! Again, a very good post. I don't believe in Marie Kondo-ing your friends. I am not sure I believe in Marie Kondo-ing your belongings but I am wishy washy like that. I do think that social media is unhealthy. With that said, I do "do" Facebook but I have found that, over time, I don't "post" much at all and I don't voice opinions. I don't discuss politics and I stay away from religion. I don't trust social media and I think technology is in our personal lives way too much. I do wish we had the technology to go back in time to a kinder, gentler, simpler place. I am really enjoying your posts and identify with what you say. And I am sure your chickens miss you! And I love your watercoloring -- dabbling in that myself a little bit these days.

Lisa Richards said...

I agree with you that social media is a little too quick to advise us to discard those that bring difficulties into our lives. I think it's a result of the "me first" philosophy that's so prevalent right now. I find that just about the time I start feeling like, "Ah, now I can relax and just enjoy my retirement years," God sends along someone in need and life gets complicated again. Good training in dying to self! I think that's more important in God's economy than making our lives comfortable. :) The kimono is so cute and so are the cards! Safe travels as you return home!

GretchenJoanna said...

I'm glad God doesn't do this to us :-) And aren't we to be "little Christs" in the world?

My daughter posted a spoof article from The Babylon Bee on Facebook, which I just shared there after reading your post. "God decides to cut all toxic people out of his life; 7.5 billion dead."