Thursday, September 9, 2010

Disappointment

Tuesday evening Adam got news that the job position in Mississippi will not work out.
(A beautiful picture. Just because I needed one.)

It's hard to know what to write about this news. I know God must not want us there. I know He's in charge. I know He has perfect timing, that He loves us, that He promises to care for us. I know all these things both from instruction and experience.

And I'm not freaking out, or angry, or lying in a dark room sobbing.

But it's hard to understand why we are selected to be recipients of so many set-backs, discouragements and reversals. Do you hear that crashing noise? That's the door of our life, slamming shut again.

We've had encouragement too. I read about David in I Samuel when the king had a death threat on his head. I wrote about it, but I think it's too wordy for here. Adam prayed and thought he was hopeless, and then remembered that hope is confidence in things we can't see (yet), so he can still safely have hope. His study last night at church on Acts 21 was excellent and lively.

But disappointments from God's hand make me feel like a red-headed step-child. Perhaps they should make me feel special, like He's singled me out for some great work, and this is my unique preparation. But after 21 years, I feel more like he's just giving me the preparation and never the work.

"Wait for the LORD. Be strong and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for the LORD."
Ps. 27:14

2 comments:

GretchenJoanna said...

I am disappointed with you. It's hard to see that there might be any open doors when your nose is right up against the closed one, and hard to be thankful for that, too. I pray that God gives you courage and comfort.

M.K. said...

Thank you, GJ. Perhaps the hardest part is knowing Adam must start again at the beginning, and finding a pastorate is such a long, difficult process. I appreciate your prayers.