Here's a little helpful information the next time you find yourself in this situation:
We checked his clothes, the couch, the car, the bathroom, the laundry, the garage. We inquired of the dogs. He even went back to the doctor's office. They were quite helpful, but no, they didn't have it.
Then he simply went to Google and typed in, "where's my phone?"
And Google (scarily) knew. Google presented him with a Google map and a drop pin right on our house. So (phew!!!) we knew it was here. Then Google presented him with a box of options, one of which was to cause his phone to ring at full volume, even though the ringer was turned off.
He happily complied. Family members fanned out over the house and property, listening for the ring-a-ling. And we found it!
He'd left it in his apron, which was hanging in the pantry.
So, no more phone-searching! Just ask Google.