Okay, ladies. After the recent post on clothing, I thought you might want to know what happened when I went swimsuit shopping.
First, I took along the husband and two kids, to ensure maximum frustration. (JK) We dropped the kids at Target, and Adam sat in the mall walking-track (you know what I mean) and chatted with two old geezers. He had a swell time.
I entered J.C. Penney. I knew I was in trouble when two sales clerks responded to my inquiry about swimsuits, "Well, if we have anything left, they're back there," and they waved a vague hand in the direction of the store back. Sure enough, they had 40 suits in size 12, mostly bikinis. I tried on a few, just for laughs. And I do mean that literally. You larger ladies know how it is: you squeeze into the stretchy-hotpink-teeny-weeny-cup and guffaw at yourself. Occasionally I just stand and stare at the mirror to fix the image in my mind. I remember that it's the swimsuit that is ridiculous, and not my body!
I left there, counting it as my daily exercise, and strolled down to TJ Maxx. I waved at Adam and the Geezers as I breezed into the store. I expected TJ Maxx to have exactly one swimsuit in my size, and it would be a garish floral display. But I was wrong! I tried on quite a few and finally had to limit myself to only two suits. I found two!! One was called a "miraclesuit," which I thought an apt name. The swimsuit fairies must have been sprinkling their fairy dust on me!!
The first suit I bought cost me $25. Yet another miracle -- its regular price is $99. You have to picture a black/white design instead of the floral pattern on the bust:
Here's a link to another view of the suit.
And now for suit #2:
Miraclesuit. It also gives good bust support for a v-neck, and I like the small sarong on the front. I do prefer coverage on the upper thighs, and in the past decade have generally bought suits with skirts or shorts, instead of a traditional one-piece that (let's be honest) is cut like a pair of underwear. Sigh. I also loathe shaving my entire leg, and since I only shave way up in the nether regions for wearing a bathing suit ... why not buy a suit with coverage up there, and then I'll never have to shave there at all? Right?
I still prefer that, but being in a water aerobics class this summer has made me admit that a snug, simple one-piece is useful when you're thrashing around in the water with 15 other aging women. Nobody cares if you've shaved. But if you have a skirt or (heaven forbid) a massive pair of swim shorts with a liner floating around you, it's challenging to work out. I have little black lycra skirts I can wear over the one-pieces, if need be. So it's all good.
Oh, suit #2 cost me $35. Regular price: $120. Thank you, TJ Maxx!! As a thrift store shopper, I dislike paying even that much, but some items cannot be found in thrift stores in a timely manner. A bathing-suit-that-works-with-THIS-body is one of them. And now I have suits for about the next six years, so I consider that a good investment, especially since I live on the coast.
That's it, ladies! I hope you're encouraged! I hope you didn't expect to see photos of ME in a suit, because that ain't happening. But I'm about a size 18 or 20, with an hour-glass figure, if that tells you anything, and these suits are made for my body type, not for a skinny 14 year old. The suits are out there, even in mid-July. Go shop!