Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Blog Frustration

Well, I had a nice blog post all prepped for you to see, but blogger won't let me upload pictures this morning.  Grrrr! So, we'll have to make do with text only. But you know me -- never at a loss for words!

Actually, I had planned to voice these sentiments, just not quite yet. But here's what I have to say:

I'm bored.

And I say that with great hesitation, because we have a proverb in our family: "There are no bored people, only boring people." The idea is this: if you feel bored, it's probably because you're boring, and you need to work on that.

(Well, I may have that problem too.)

But seriously, I need more to do. For the past two years, I haven't been in the classroom. And that's okay. That was occasionally stressful on the family, because I'm rather a devoted classroom teacher, and I tend to overdo. And during the homeschooling year, I have stuff to do.

But in the summer? Eh. Even the laundry (only Adam's and mine, because I've trained my kids to do their own), and cooking (but the kids do all the clean up, because I've trained them .... yeah), and Adam cooks some too.

During previous summers, lounging in the pool for 2 hours each afternoon felt delicious, because I'd worked hard during the school year, and I deserved that lounging. But now?  I feel like a lazy slug.  And I Do Not Like that feeling.

I'm spending time reading (on the couch), blogging (on the couch), napping (on the couch). Ugh. I'm tired of the couch. I've played the piano a bit, and I'm contemplating sewing, but those are hobbies.

I don't want hobbies. I want to work. I don't mean outside-the-home necessarily. I just want to be useful. I'm feeling very useless lately. Like God has told me, "Wait, child." And I'm tired of waiting. I want to do something.

My 17, 19, and 20 year olds are pretty much independent, and I'm glad of it. That's what we trained them for. Even Julia doesn't take too much looking after.  Cook for them regularly, and they're all happy :)

So, this morning I pulled out the nemesis, uh, I mean, The Book. (Not the Bible, guys, although I read that too.) The book I wrote, and finished, and then edited, and then had edited by Adam, and then lost. Now I've found it again, and Adam has told me, "If you want to work at something useful and productive, go edit that book!" He means it.

I made a start. A start is good. I'm thinking that, at this point, in order not to be afraid of The Book, I have decided not to try to publish it the traditional way. That's just too overwhelming to contemplate. If Adam ever does read it and say, "Okay, it's good. It's finished," then I'll opt for self-publishing.

That's all for now. I'll be back when the photos decide they'll cooperate.

4 comments:

  1. What about getting out each morning for a good walk around the neighborhood? I find that now that I exercise regularly I sleep better at night and my days are better as well. Just thought on something that you could do...

    Love you,
    SB

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  2. Hi MK! I know! I'm frustrated with Blogger, too. Oh well. It'll fix. So, do you think the Lord might be preparing you for classroom teaching again? Maybe this time, you'll be okay with not overdoing it at school. I know it's hard to teach even if you don't overdo because having that responsibility is so intense and there is no way to go halfway when it comes to caring for kids. Working on your book sounds stressful. Hobby is a funny concept, isn't it? It's all about living in the moment, I think. I do far too much planning in my head and then I begin to get exhausted listening to my rattle brain! Maybe it's a good day to go "junking" and browse around looking at other peoples' castoffs. Maybe you could find some old sheet music and have yourself a little piano concert. Sorry, I'm no help at all!

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  3. I think The Book is a very good project for you, my dear. It will keep you busy, that I know.

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  4. I have such wise and kind friends! Thanks,y'all! Sadie B, it's funny you should mention a walk, b/c that's exactly what I did this morning when I couldn't stand the couch anymore: I nabbed Anna and Julia, and we walked around our "loop" before it got too hot.

    Pom, I really would love to teach again, I'm just not sure if God wants me too or not. I want to do what's right for my family too. And I do the same thing with "planning" -- so much planning, and not as much doing.

    M - the book is a MUST. I've been putting it off and escaping from it. But I know I'll feel like a failure if I don't finish it. I no longer have little children to write it for, so Adam told me I need to finish it for the grandchildren - haha!!

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Hello! I hope you leave a word ~ I will get back to it as soon as I can!