I wrote a post a few days ago, but didn't put it here. It was a whiny post. It was my "I've-been-through-so-much-trial-and-now-I-want-to-tell-everyone-about-it" post. Yes, the past 2 years or so have been hard, with Adam looking unsuccessfully for a job. Yes, we were without any income for a bit, and yes, we're happy that he now has a position.
But I didn't handle it well.
And I'm glad I didn't post that thing.
Because I need to look at myself in the mirror and remind myself that my trials are rather small, compared to some. And I'm not just talking about the Christians in North Korea, China, and all those Muslim countries, who are being tortured and murdered.
There are women just like me, who suffer so much more. Strangers, but sisters. Sisters in Christ.
Jessica Council, who sacrificed her own life to save her unborn baby. A beautiful, 30 year old lady who chose not to treat her cancer, so that her baby would have the best chance at life. Jessica died, chose to die. God gave her that situation, and gave her that choice, and it was a terrible, awful one.
Today I read about Heather George, a cancer survivor - brain cancer. God put her through that trial, and then soon put her through a greater one -- a new baby with a heart condition that required a transplant, and so much treatment, and then Autism. And two days ago, that little girl died.
I am ashamed of myself for griping and moping and sorrowing over our situation. It's been difficult for me, but honestly I should have handled it SO much better. I struggled with trust, after all God has done to win my trust in the past! I gave up hope, when God has done everything to give me eternal hope. I felt my life was wasted, after all the blessings He's given us.
I'm thankful for strangers. I know God didn't give Jessica and Heather these sorrows for my sake, but I want to glean some benefit from seeing them, their faith, their strength. It sorrows me to know how faithless I have been.
Heather said, "I also have come to realize that none of us are promised a tomorrow, and today is way too precious to waste on frivolous emotions." I've wasted time on frivolous emotions. Time to change that.